Big Butt & Weird Fashion

I can’t believe I almost forgot about this one funny thing from swimming lessons on Sunday. Liam’s class had 4 kids in it (including Liam). There were two 6-month-old boys, and a little girl – no clue how old she was. She looked younger than Liam, but older than the other boys. They showed up the first week, and the mom told the teacher that the little girl had an ear infection & could not participate. Then they were there the 2nd week. The 3rd week was the week the pool was contaminated, so no class, and then they were there this week for the last week of the session. So the 2 times I was there when they were there, the mom got in the pool with her (since it is a parent-child class), wearing plaid shorts and either a long-sleeve or ¾ sleeve shirt. No bathing suit – you could totally see her bra under her shirt by the time the shirt got soaked through. The little girl did have on a bathing suit, and I didn’t notice this the first time, but this weekend, she had on a little bikini (which, for the record, I think baby bikinis have got to be one of the cutest things ever made for little girls). The lessons take place in a hotel pool, but are operated by another company, who requires that non-potty-trained kids wear swim diapers with rubber pants, or, preferably, those CDC-approved swim pant things (which, luckily we still had a pair for our lessons at the Y earlier in the year). So they require that, but they obviously do not check or enforce, because this mom (fully-clothed, mind you) brought her bikini-clad baby into the pool wearing a Pampers Cruiser! Oh dear…As soon as I saw the top of that Cruiser sticking out of her bikini bottom I knew this was not going to end well. But as they got closer, I realized that she also had a disposable swim diaper on OVER the Cruiser! The class is only 30 minutes, but by the time it was over, that baby’s butt had swelled to about 4 times its original size (and she probably weighed 10 lbs more due to the water absorption). That swim diaper was doing absolutely nothing – I mean, it was on top of the regular diaper. Clearly these people do not get in the pool often. And I was a little surprised that the teacher did not say anything to them. Really though – who puts their kid in the water in a regular diaper these days? They are super-absorbent, people!

Totally switching gears, last night we were getting ready for bed. Josh, being the super-organized person that he is, generally picks out his clothes the night before. I was already in bed, and he went into the closet, and appeared to choose the first shirt that he saw. It was super fast & efficient (unlike me, who stares at my clothes for at least 5 minutes, before selecting 3 or 4 things to debate further, before finally choosing one to actually wear). Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Did you just grab the first shirt that you saw?
Josh: No, I actually have a very good reason for choosing that shirt.
Me: Do tell!
Josh: Well, I had already picked out my socks for tomorrow, so I wanted to pick a shirt that matched the socks, since the socks & the shirt should match, right?
Me: [crickets] Uh…yeah, I guess so…but, you see…most people pick out their shirt and THEN their socks, not socks first.
Josh: Well there’s a good reason for me picking my socks first. I wanted to wear my boots tomorrow, and they always leave a stain on light-colored socks, so whenever I wear those boots, I always wear dark-colored socks so you can’t see the stain. Therefore, I chose a dark-colored shirt to go with the dark-colored socks.
Me: [more crickets] So you’re wearing boots tomorrow? You will not even see the socks then, so what does it matter?

So this morning Josh got dressed in his dark-colored socks, the first shirt he had picked out (the one that matches the socks he chose), and his boots that don’t stain dark-colored socks. And I had 3 different shirts picked out (only ended up putting 2 on before deciding on one). Dark-colored pants. And no socks.